Dare i start writting again?

My son, my beautiful 8 month old IVF baby. The reason for my changed self.

I dont know if im 'normal', actually, i know im not 'normal'...lol,but, am i socially acceptable?

I have changed as a person. I am only starting to accept the 'new' me 8 months after my sons birth. I feel so different. I dont know if people who concieve naturally feel this way. I am afraid to ask.
I have become this highly strung, serious, not so snap happy gal......and i dont really like it. I sometimes think to myself "ainsley, breath, calm.......stop thinking, it hasnt happened yet and may not happen" even to the smallest of things. I look for fights. I am angry. I am bitter. I am resentful. I am so stressed.
I feel broken when people around me fall pregnant naturally...not all people, but some people. I spose its the ones who think they have had trouble but really havent..........why would you want to 'claim' infertility?
I want to be my old self, and often dream about what i was like before IVF.

I feel like i am losing friends. I doubt the reasons to stand up for myself. I wonder if my own reasons are real reasons. I questions peoples dedication to my. I know i am a nice person to others, but, i wonder if when i am nice people question my niceness.

Will i be the old me, or, has this rollercoaster changed me forever?