The rooster and his eggs.

The rooster has fertilsied 9 eggs!!!! YAY! We will (fingers crossed) 8 EMBIES!!!!!!! Wonderful! Amazing!!! So so so so happy!!!!

Good chook!

Well this little chook has never been so sore in all her life! Oh my god, agonising pain!!! The actual retrieval was fine. Very minimal pain and only sight discomfort. I saw most of it on screen. The needle puncturing the vaginal wall, the follicles having the fluid drained out, the eggies on the screen when they appeared in a follicle. It was so amazing, this part of IVF i love. Totally mind blowing! We were all very happy and so excited when we were told that there was 13 eggs in total! VERY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!! I was taken into recovery and thats where it went pear shapped. The agonising pain was the worst feeling i have EVER felt. I have never been so sore in all my life. It was horrible. Just constant pain. Apparently what happens is after all the fluid is drained out of the follicles, the body panics and the follicles fill with blood. They get soooo swollen and full that the uterus and the surrounding organs get pushed up towards the diaphram. This is what happens in pregnancy but over 40 weeks, mine happened within 30 seconds! They stay swollen and pumping blood for about 24hrs. So i am a bit nervous as i have a christmas party to go to tomorrow night. (oh well)

So i am just here on the couch resting trying not to move cause it is just soooo sore! It feels like someone is blowing up a balloon in my overies and uterus and they are just about to burst. OUCH! When i move it sharp stabbing pains that go through my body, and down my va jay jay!!!! Dont even start with a sneeze. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! It really really hurts.... :( I am hoping that tonight i can sleep and sleep the pain away!

We took some great photos, so when Josh gets back from running around i will upload them.

The overies

Dear Overies,

I would really love it if you make today a cool, calm and carefree procedure! Please make it easy for Dr Lok to reach all these eggs that are paining me so!
Warm Regards
Ainsley


The eggs are coming out and it couldnt be sooner! I am getting up like 4 times a night in pain with the tinyest bit of wee in my bladder! Not really nice when i have to be drinking about 4L a day! So last night i am excited to say was my last night in discomfort!

Looking forward to today! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!

Josh was up early fixing machines, and then made me bacon and eggs! He reassured me that it was a great start for the eggies!!! Make them good and strong! I had a word to his nuts this morning and told them to only let out the AMAZING sperm!!! HAHAHAHA!

Anyway, such is the life of an IVFer!!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE!

romance?????????????

So last night i triggered, and then realised at 11pm that we needed to have s3x....... I have 40 follies having a party in my overies and the last thing i feel like doing is having s3x. I am tired, bloated, feeling like a non pregnant fat chic. I was so upset that we had to have sex that i cried! did i tell you that i was full of hormones..........

So DH comes in and asks whats wrong and i told him that we needed to have sex and it was going to be as comfortable as rubbing sand papper over our parts! And he took my hand and told me that he "took care of it yesterday"!

I have never been so in love with this man!!!!!
I was so happy i cryed! He knew i would be wanting to sleep and anxious and over it and so he well you know...................

The trigger

So a trigger injection is a big needle that basically triggers the overies to release the eggs! I had my ultra-spound on wednesday morning. I was feeling bloated, uncomfortable and just so tired. I waited with the other hormonal women (some bought husbands and 1 woman bought her husband and BABY......Just to show off i spose her "happy family")
I went in, took my pants and undies off, lay down and waited for the sonographer to come in. I am always excited to see my overies on screen, i recon they could go for an oscar, their performance was amazing! (to say the least) I think Jim Cary would be an equivalent to my overies.....Great performer, but sooooo over done! LOL! As i got ready for the internal movie to start. So fast forward the gross parts and the internal movie was definatly a winner!!!! 40 was the number i had to circle. Yes people thats 40!!!!!!! Normally you are wanting between 15 and 20.......oh no my Jim Cary overies just blew that out of the water. But then it sunk in............40 is alot of follicles, i could be cancelled.......Oh no, they might cancel my cycle 2 days out from egg retrieval. Oh the worry sets in and i am still half way through my internal, i still have a probe going round my vagina. (gross sorry i know!!!!)
FAST FORWARD
So i am now forced to wait until the nurses ring me to let me know if i am even going to be able to trigger! The devestation i prepare myself hurts. I waited till 7pm last night to hear from the nurses who rang me with good news! The phone rings and i pick up pretty much straight away, i start with a perperation deep breath.......I listen and I am okay to go ahead!!!! I have to trigger at 10:30pm!!!! waaaahooooooooo!!!!! So so so so relieved! So so so so so happy!!!! We were at Josh's nan and pop's for the ratcliff x-mas party so we have to leave at about 9pm......9:20 at the latest! Just as we were about to leave, i was told to wait cause Aunty Tanya just wanted to say a few (note a few) words. Well Tanya spoke, Greg spoke and then of course Linda spoke and at that stage it was 9:20. I got up and left.
The drive home was a bit nerve wrecking. I was so nervous about the trigger. There are a few parts to the injection.

We almost got home and then we hit traffic. Stand still, road closed traffic. So there was no option, we were 15mins from home, we HAD to pull over and do the trigger injection on the side of the road on the M5.
It was yet again a reminder that my life was run about by needles and infertility.

The trigger was mixed and in 1 deep breath the needle was put into my tummy. Josh was a great help. He helps me push the seringe down nice and gently.It took about 30 seconds to empty the contents into my tummy. A bruise came pretty much as soon as i pulled the needle out. OUCHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

All done, home time. Now time for bed, and then i remembered, we have to have sex... (something i am not wanting to do considering i am so bloated and feeling so discusting and nope just wasnt wanting to do it at all.) So i told josh, and he was just as excited as i was....(not very) He then told me the most exciting thing that i think i could have heard.......He had taken care of it yesterday. I cryed with excitement. This is another point that reminds me that we rely on IVF and other people to create a life that so many people just do without thinking.....

So the trigger is done, josh is ready and now i am about to go and have a little snooze before dinner.

xoxo

Infertility is.................

This is just 1 cycles worth of needles. The little plastic lids at the top all have needles in them, they go in the puregon pen. They have all been used this cycle.

Just working this crazy thing out....

Wonder how i set the time and date to Sydney time.........So my first post is on Tuesday the 15th not Monday the 14th

TTC diarys....note the 'S'!

My first TTC Diary was started on the 26th of Feb 2007......Married for 3 months, full of hope......HA! I had just picked up my Provera to start my 1st cycle to see if i ovulated naturally. The answer, NO. My hormones flat lined. Damn.........

My second diary was after my 2 operations on the 14th of August 2009. It ended on the 18th of september 2009, in a pregnancy......My little angel Jimmy. Jimmy was taken on the 1st of October 2009. Always loved, never EVER forgotten. "No words will ever be enough"-Ally Malone

So, i figure this isnt a TTC diary, its a sanity spot. I get so caught up in my emotions that i end up having my mind running at 1000 miles an hour and sleep is very limited.

xoxo

To start at the beginning would be smart..........

But, i dont feel like it!

So, i will start today, maybe i will get to what has happened so far, probably not right now though.

Tuesday December 15.

Day 42 of fresh cycle 4!

I am using Lucrin and Puregon, i was on the pill........

I am 28 days into needles and 4 days away from my egg retrieval.

I have had 2 ultrasounds so far, and 4 blood tests. I have another ultrasound and blood test tomorrow morning. They will determine whether i will have my eggs retrieved on friday or saturday. (not that it really matters to me) I am really hoping that there is between 15 and 20 eggs in there. It feels like there is about 30! I am so bloated, uncomfy and over it there better be a good amount of eggs!!! I am so emotional and just damn over the whole process. 4 years into this i have i spose a oval shaped uterus! LOL (hey look at me go letting you in on my past) But there is an empty kanoe, 2 chemical pregnancies, my lost baby "Jimmy", a whole heap of baby clothes and products, a very broken heart ,a nearly destroyed soul, and a marriage that knows that the this is the hardest thing that it will ever have to endure.

So anyway, there is alot to be thankful for in my life. I have a very wonderful home, family and an amazing bunch of women that i will love forever and ever that support me through thick and thin.

So first post done, i am sure there will be MORE!